Open Seating, Part II

The rules of seating on an aircraft:

I’ve written, in the past, about how to best keep an empty seat next to you while flying airlines that maintain an “open seating” policy.  While that article will stand the test of time as the definitive essay on dumb things to do on a plane, I’ve discovered that it needs an update.

Update:

While the prospect of keeping an open seat is tempting, I’ve discovered a phenomena that I’ve simply dubbed the “Craig Principle” that has changed my entire approach to getting on an airplane.

The Craig Principle states that the longer you hold an empty seat on a plane, the larger/weirder/talkier/toddlier the person who will eventually take that seat will be.

This is not a simple matter or irony or fate; there is no “Murphy’s law” of seat saving.  The facts are these:  people who get on the plane first are those who checked in first.  People who check in promptly are likely to be prompt about other things in life, such as remedying a personal hygiene issue or nipping a Twinkie addiction in the bud.  People to whom it has not occurred to check in early are often the same people to whom it has not occurred that spitting their tobacco chew back into their clear plastic airplane cup may also cause their neighbor to put their FAA-approved barf-bag to immediate use.

What should you, early-check-in-person, do?  Well, as per my earlier essay, there are many ways to ensure you’ll have an empty seat to expand into during your long flight.  Should you choose to acknowledge the Craig Principle, you may be well served to clear the seat next to you, put a smile on your face, and extend a word of greeting to a fellow (early-check-in) traveler of your choosing.